SIMPLE ACT [8/19/11]

I am not really feeling well today...

I wonder where he is, he might cheer me up. I can't wait to tell him.

"Where's Loki?"

I asked as my eyes surveyed the room.

"Absent, I guess." one of them replied.

I dreamt of him last night. I was suppose to tell him about how silly my dream was.

Because it was all about him.

A silly dream, no, ridiculous is more appropriate.

"Here's your prince charming, Agh." Someone called.

"Yeah, right." I unintentionally uttered the words.

I walked to where Loki is.

Before I get near to him, I stopped at the scene in front of me.

The wind blows sweetly caressing his clothes, he carries his things
in a unique manner that will surely catch anyone's attention.

Then I felt, wow, is this how he is? Dang! he looked divine!!

I don't know how I appeared from his eyes at that moment.

He smiled.

"I drink last night, well just a few shots but it..." he continued speaking but
I can't pay attention to what he's talking about.

"Hey there! Agatha!" He pulled my hair.

"I'm sorry, I just don't feel very well today." I defended.

Upon that, he lowered his face to mine, touched my forehead and my neck.

"You look pretty when you feel bad." He commented with a black expression to his face.

..you look pretty.. 


I felt my hand went cold.

What's happening to me? He's my friend since the day I step forth to this school.
I can't develop feelings towards him!

"It's just platonic... calm yourself Agh." I whispered.
Gripping my hands continuously to warm myself.

"What's wrong?" He laughed.

Usually we laughed together but today  feel awkward to be with him.

"Do you really feel bad?! well, you seems so, it's not usually hard to make you laugh."

He said, he stared at me then his eyes focused on my hands.

"I don't know, I-I just don't .. I don't know. what?" I gripped my hands.

He took my hands.

His large hands held mine, His warmth crept onto my bare skin.
Hand in hand was just a simple act, yet his warmth felt as if it ran through my veins
and penetrated the deepest part of my heart.

But

He will still have to get his hands back.

I get it.

I've fallen in love with him.. now.

>TO BE CONTINUED<

CONSPIRACY 08/01/11

My life became a routine.

Since classes starts last June.

I'll go to school. After class I'll go to my other commitment and stay home.

That's everything..

Well, not all of it. Usually, er, most of the time rather, I'm getting pissed just feeling the mere presence of my ex.

Until today...

I went to school. After class I went to my commitment, then my cousins planned to stroll and I tagged along. After the reunion, I went to school. Then there the routine end.

As I walked pass empty and occupied rooms, I saw a figure of a man just meters away.

My sight was blurry since I have 17/20 vision.

The figure was familiar, he was tall and with a body that is not to lean.

I smile because I thought that it would be someone whose nice to me.

I stared.

As the vision gets clearer I became to realize that

this man in front of me was the person I hoped not to get bumped again.

It was NICK.

A former classmate of mine in second year.

I don't really like him, for every time he sees me,

he keeps pushing my patience to limits!!! 

It was two weeks since the last time I've seen him.

I was shocked when he broke down.

I knelt and asked, "What happened to you?!!" I was pretty worried and scared.

He looked up holding his chest and smiled unsteady, and said, "I haven't seen you in a while."

It hit me. The words hit right through my veins.

It was sort of SWEET.

Its like the universe conspire.

At time of loneliness this man made me feel that I'm something again.

 

THE PAINFUL TRUTH (7/20/11)

HE approached me.

"Why are you always mad at me?"

Then I thought 'wow!! do I really have to answer that?'

He made me believe that he really does care for me.
He made me believe that I am his only girl.
And above all, he made me believe he did love me more than his life.

I've been his rebound girlfriend without even knowing it.

[Because if I would, I would never let him enter my life]

So how come he had formulated that question upon me?!
When all this time it was all his fault!!!

I have every right to be cold and bitter to him.
To treat him like I didn't know him. To treat him like a worthless peace of jerk!!!

I must say I missed him so much
that it hurts just seeing him.
I still love him so much.

Though he cheated on me
it doesn't change anything.

I STILL LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

but..

still no matter how much I love him. It doesn't change the fact that
HE loves Her more than me.

And if you are wondering, did I ever fight for him??

YES. I tried all my strength to fight for him.

But I broke up with him. I know I did the right thing. 

I know how it feels to be dumped, and be rejected by your love over another girl.

And I am sure that SHE is a nice person and she loves him.

That I come to realize that I am just an obstacle sent by the lord to make their relationship stronger.

I cried. I cried so hard that I can't even hear anything around me.

Just feeling the sheer pain struck me.

Sometimes you have to lose. You can't always have a happy ending.

And its the painful truth.

[APOLOGY] my dream (7/4/11)

It was raining that day, the sky looked dark, the rain poured angrily and endlessly.

I stood under my umbrella and walked pass through a dim and curtain less house...

My house.

I looked upon myself and realized I was wearing white.

My hair soaked and my face is wet.

I entered my house and walked to my room.

Following me, HE reached my hands. His face were disoriented.

He was wearing white.

I'm not sure if he was crying, no tears came out his eyes, but the expression of his face showed sorrow, hurt and regret.

He kissed my hands and held it firm and gentle.

He'd spoken.

"I'm willing to let go of everything, I don't care. But I can't bear this any longer."

The way he said the words... its meaning register to my mind in different way.

It was an APOLOGY.

I reclaim my hand, and go.

He followed me everywhere. Anywhere.

I avoided him.I can't bear the sight of him. His scent. His presence.

For he caused the pain I tried to forget and the wounds I tried healed to torment me again.

Its too late. I can't accept him anymore.

It was raining that day, my melancholy matched the pouring rain.